Lola Omotayo-Okoye was one of the women at the Dare2Dream project recently held in Lagos where she shared some personal experience to encourage young ladies.
The first lady of the Squareville, revealed how she was molested by a catholic priest and abused in a relationship while in her teenage days.
According to her, after she was molested by the priest, she kept it to herself for a long time because she didn't think anybody will believe her.
You shouldn’t let your past determine what your destiny will be, we all have our past whether good or bad or makes us unhappy, we all had a life that we lived that we are not happy about, you shouldn’t let it bother you from succeeding.
When I was a young girl in my early teens in high school, I was molested by a catholic priest, i blamed myself, i didn’t tell anyone because i was ashamed, couldn’t tell anyone cos i felt everyone would blame me, so i carried on the guilt and bitterness with me for years. I was filled with hate and i became a angry person, i was rebellious, i didn’t want to listen to anybody…and because i wanted to be expelled from school to avoid seeing this person, i would do so many terrible things, everything around me was just so negative, i felt i wasn’t good enough….
Anyway i moved on to the university, met the love of my life and i’m like, okay this guy is cool, he loves me…and then he started to abuse me….i was beaten black and blue all the time, in front of friends, in public and at a point i felt, you know what I am not worthy enough, there is nothing about me that is nice, nobody loves me but i hid this from my family….i felt like a loser..so it was hard for me to focus..so one day i woke up and said i am going to change my story and i dumped that person, focus on my education and decided to be serious and be something….i decided to get a job and go to school full time in America…
I worked hard…my parents were sending me money cos I didn’t tell them i was working but i was working because i wanted to be independent…I didn’t want to depend on any man or on my parents even though they would have done anything for me…so i did all sorts of job, i was a make up artiste, i worked in a cafe, school library, i did so many things and i didn’t realise that these jobs were building me up as a person, building my resume, my confidence….people began to like me because i was adding value to their lives….at work i was excellent and so was i in school and that built me as a strong woman…and at some point, i sought counseling to get over my molestation issues where i was made to see reasons why i wasn’t at fault cos i was a child then…today I am accomplished.
You can be whatever woman you want to be but you have to believe in yourself, if they reject you today, it doesn’t mean you should let your dreams die, you have something unique about you. Look at my husband, when i met him peeps were like what are you doing with him, he has nothing but i stood my ground and choose to stick with him cos he had a dream. He and his twin brother did not let their dream die, they worked hard..look at them today! I stuck by him cos he had focus and drive and today i am happy, i have a good life, we are happy and we have got a beautiful family. No one can make you a loser.”
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