Every Monday, star actress Stella Damasus presents a program, ‘Undiluted with Stella Damasus’- Hard talk. No barriers. No limitations, on i2Radio where she brings guests to talk about various issues. This week, her guest was Daniel Ademinokan, her partner, a producer who was formerly married to actress Doris Simeon. One of the highlights of the program was when Stella revealed what Daniel means to him.
In her words,” ‘Today I have Daniel Ademinokan as my guest and I condiser him the best Director out there. And for all those who are dying to hear this, Daniel is the love of my life’. The theme of their discussion on Monday was ‘What Men want Women to know in a relationship’.
Excerpts of their discussion on air:
STELLA: Are men are as emotional as women?
DANIEL: I believe that men are as emotional as women but they are trained to be macho about it. Men have more control over their emotions than women. Men just don’t react to it the way women do. Women tend to be (excuse the word) dramatic.
STELLA: Do men like public display affection?
DANIEL: A man who is dating a woman and is proud of her does like public display of affection. He wants people to know this is mine without appearing to be trying so hard.
STELLA: Does the woman have the right to feel the same way?
DANIEL: Yes, every one in that relationship has a right to feel that way. You don’t have to be rude to other people for people to see. You shouldn’t be ashamed to hold your person is public. Men like PDA but not to the point where you make other people uncomfortable. It is not everyone your woman is talking to that she has something with. Some women can be so possessive that they become nags.
STELLA: Does the woman have the right to know her man’s password?
DANIEL: If you’re married why should you have a password? Every couple should have access to each other’s phones. I don’t think any man or woman should go snooping around their spouse’s phones. If there’s trust, why should you be snooping? Unless the person has given you a reason to. Sometimes there are innocent messages that people can interprete wrongly. People misinterpret stuff but there should be no issue with passwords.
STELLA: There’s this popular thing men always say. You know me better than anyone else so you know these questions aren’t from me. Men always say they need space. How do you know when to give him space?
DANIEL: Sometimes all these bottled up emotions have a way of erupting. A woman who knows her husband well and if their a couple who communicate, you can sense when he wants to talk. When a guy doesn’t want to discuss something with you at a point in time, don’t force it. When women want to talk, they really want to talk. You should be able to read the man and know when he wants to speak. I always advice women, let the man have a life away from home.
STELLA: What do you mean by that?
DANIEL: Most women don’t want their men to have lives outside of the home. A lot of women do that but you need to give your man a space to become a boy again. If you don’t let him have a life, he’ll bottle all those emotions and he’ll erupt someday. If all does is spend time at home, he’ll breakdown and wont want to listen
STELLA: How come men go out to look for call wife material but when they go out there they look for the sexy seductress?
DANIEL: A man who is looking for Mother Theresa as a ife is probably a man who has plans from the start. If you want an all in one package, look for that. Marriage is like you having DirectTv, they give you different plans based on what you like.
STELLA: So do all men have to cheat because they know all women don’t have what they need?
DANIEL: Not all men plan to cheat. Based on your question, that is a man who has married a wife for the sole purpose
STELLA: Whenever I talk about sex, it’s always IN THE MARRIAGE people. Do men like women to initiate sex regularly?
DANIEL: A lot of men I’ve spoken to do like the idea of women initiating sex. When you’re with your wife, you want to feel the love and know that she craves you and wants you”Sex is a 2 way thing, the man gives, the woman takes. The woman gives, the man takes. If a woman refuses to be adventurous and the guy becomes bored. He’ll look for it somewhere else. Men love sex. There is nothing wrong with women being adventurous. There are 50 shades of grey adventurous and normal adventurous.
STELLA: Some men can’t phantom their thought of women being adventurous?
DANIEL: Everything boils down to how the marriage started.I read something where they said couples should even schedule sex. It may sound disgusting but they said it’s better than a sexless life. Most of the best conversations happen after sex. Sex is one of the quickest ways to make your man happy. Some years ago someone said his wife shouldn’t give him oral sex and then use those lips to kiss his kids.
STELLA: In a few words, how do you think men want to be treated by women?
DANIEL: Every woman should understand the man they are married to or dating is still a kid at heart. Most women fail to see that’No man wants a woman to come and be the husband in the house. Most men play by the womens rules and then when marriage comes, it changes to their rules. When you’re coming into it. Lay your cards on the table, save 10% for yourself and when you’re in it, give 100%. There are rules there that some men play by and once they get what they want, their out. That’s why I can sit here with you today because I’ve been through it.
