Friday, 27 March 2015

How To Not Beat Your Wife: Charly Boy Gives Advice On Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is an under reported crime, he says, and he’s right.

Some men feel it’s their right, he says and he’s right as well.

Charly boy talks about why men beat their wives and why/how they are doing it the wrong way.
Read below.....
When I look back at my life, and all the stuff I did as a carefree, young and restless youth,  I can’t help but shudder at some of my very bad habits. Yes, I was once short-fused; blowing off at the slightest provocation. It was pitiful. Over time I have managed to rid myself of such sad habits but that can’t be said for a lot of men some of who, even late in their lives can’t still get over it, thereby losing their cool in their homes.
No be small thing sha. Domestic violence is an under reported crime in Nigeria, almost accepted as norm. Some  men feel it’s their right, some feel it’s always the women who bring out the beast in them, while others will readily admit its a way of stamping their authority in the home.
Sadly, many don’t see anything wrong with beating their wives. How sad! Yes, am aware there are women who beat up their husbands, but those are in the minority and this piece ain’t about them. The most guilty perpetrators are usually men and the victims are mostly their wives and sometimes their children too.
Men abusing women is like a defence and coping mechanism for being or feeling WEAK in other aspects of life, sometimes including deep analog beliefs about masculinity. Men who abuse loved ones tend to blame other things or people for their violent outbursts.
In some cases, it is a cycle: “my father abused me and my mom, so, it’s  normal”. Society doesn’t help either, it ingrains in a man’s psyche that macho bullshit; how he should be strong and if he can’t exhibit that in his daily public life, it’s ok for him to go home and prove his strength.
Abusive men are not limited to a particular status, it ranges from a bricklayer to a CEO or even a President, causing their women to perpetually live in anxiety and fear. Most of them tip-toe around their husbands, not because they respect these men, but because of fear.
A violent man might have grown up in a dysfunctional household but this is still not a reason to be abusive. It is an excuse, and a flimsy one at that. Some men don’t come from humble homes where women are appreciated. Some of us come from homes that expose us to sex, gossip, male macho bullshit.
Values for treating women start with where you’re coming from, your background. However, beyond these, what fucks most men up is our BIG FAT EGO. It has everything to do with selfishness or overrated feeling of self-importance.
QED. Ego is the source of many negatives in the world. It is the false ‘self’ that Jesus said we should let die before we can gain everlasting life. Ego craves to be first, but we must be willing to be last. Unconditional love comes with humility, selflessness, abundant generosity, perfect responsibility, fearless confidence.
I no go brag, am not all that, but I dey try. God knows!Now, for the man who feels trapped in this mad dance with his loved ones and is trying very hard to rid himself of this very terrible habit, do like me. If you start to feel that your fuse is about to burst, try and say nothing, hold it in for a few minutes and relocate yourself to another space, either in your house, or outside.
Allow some time to elapse before you express yourself, never talk or let your fist run amok when you’re upset; it doesn’t make for a good picture. Even though I have cured myself of my short fuse, i still get tempted from time to time.
What works best for me now is silence. I go and lock myself in my room and will never utter a word to my lady until am sure am in control of my faculties. Since many moons ago, I have discovered that this is a very effective option in dealing with a very bad temper.
So next time you are with your woman and you feel like turning her into a punching bag, change the game, beat her with your silence for the period you feel like blowing your fuse. Na my way be that oooooo. This is just my take sha, how you see the matter my guys?

Actor John Dumelo Advices Nigeria Ahead Of Tomorrow's Election

Ahead of the much Anticipated presidential elections holding tomorrow, March 28, Ghanaian actor, John Dumelo has sent out his heart warming message and advise to all Nigerian who are eager to vote.
"All the best Tomorrow in your elections Nigeria. No matter what happens or no matter which party wins, try and accept the results in good faith. Let peace prevail. APC, PDP and all the other political parties, I wish you all the best! Long live Nigeria, long live Africa." He wrote on his Instagram page.

Karrueche Tran Opens Up About Her Love Triangle With Chris Brown And Rihanna

Although they have let their feelings out on social media, Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran have never talked specifics about the ups and downs of their tumultuous relationship...until now.
Talking to OWN's Iyanla Vanzant, the model is opening up about her former relationship with the rapper and how it quickly dissolved into a high-profile love triangle involving Rihanna. But after years of on-again, off-again (now reportedly off after he allegedly fathered a child), Tran reveals what she saw in Breezy.
"I wanted to love him because that's what he needs," she says. "Love."
But Vanzant challenges Tran's answer, asking her how she knows what Brown "needs," which Tran quickly responds with, "I know what he needs after four years, I know."
In another preview clip, Vanzant asks Tran if she knew the "Loyal" rapper was so heavily involved with Rihanna, even after they got together. While she was of course aware of her then-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and his violent past, she didn't know the extent of RiRi's relationship with Brown.
"I was under the impression that it was a friend-type of...not a friend but it wasn't what it became to be," she says. But deep down, she confesses, she was suspicious of Brown, but says she didn't want to believe what was happening. Vanzant immediately calls her out for being in such strong denial.
"'I knew, but I didn't want to believe it,'" Vanzant echoes. "Huge mistake! Huge."
Tran also opens up about her penchant for social media and how she has "learned the hard way" about keeping feelings and emotions off the Internet.
"It's nobody's business but you and the person or just you yourself, and that again allows everybody to, it leaves an open space for everybody to say what they want and have an opinion," she says. "I've learned it a few times, but I've learned it the hard way."

Photos: GEJ Arrives His Hometown Otuoke Ahead of Tomorrow's Election

There was tight security in Jonathan’s hometown as he arrived this evening, The Nation reports. The incumbent president is expected to cast his vote at a polling unit near his country house.
Armoured personnel carriers were seen on the Otuoke Road and one right near GEJ’s house before his arrival. Also a helicopter had been previously hovering around the town.
Apart from that, soldiers and policemen were beefed up along the road and Jonathan’s house to ensure the adequate security. 

Nigeria Police List Electoral Offences Voters Should Avoid

The Nigeria Police Force warns members of the public, particularly those going to vote, to beware of the following electoral offences on election day.

The warning is contained a statement signed by Emmanuel Ojukwu, the force public relations officer, on Thursday.
Here is a summary of the statement:
  • **Casting of votes twice or more

  • **Announcing false election results

  • **Stopping any other person from voting and revealing information on a ballot paper of another person

  • **Being in possession of another person’s voter’s card

  • **Disorderly behaviour at polling unit

  • **Canvassing for votes at polling unit and shouting slogans of a political party at polling units

  • **Being armed with guns, sticks, stones or any other dangerous weapons at polling units

  • **Loitering or walking about in a polling unit

  • **Using a siren at a polling unit

  • **Snatching or destroying ballot boxes or card readers

  • **Holding a public meeting during election hours on election day

  • **Wearing or carrying badges or posters of a political party and inflicting or threatening to inflict injury on any person or persons at a polling unit.

The Nigeria Police Force advises the public to avoid trouble, as any offender will be arrested and prosecuted.

I'm getting married soon..My wedding suit is ready-Denrele

Controversial TV personality, Denrele Edun, has revealed that he's getting married soon and that his wedding suit is ready. 
Speaking to Global Excellence he said; 
“My brother, it’s true I’m going to wed soon, and I promise you that no one will know my prospective bride before the wedding day. As I’m talking to you now, my wedding suit is ready. I’m going to surprise a lot of people; because most people thought I can’t love; and I will prove to them that I do love and being loved, just that I can’t give up my style for love. I will still remain who I am till the old age,” 

INEC begins distribution of electoral materials ahead of tomorrow's election (Photos)

These are INEC materials being moved to various local government and wards ahead of tomorrow's elections.


Ramsey Nouah Outline Reasons Why He Strongly Believe in GEJ

Popular Nollywood actor, Ramsey Nouah has talked about his reason for supporting the Nigeria‘s incumbent President, Goodluck Jonathan in the forthcoming presidential elections.
According to the veteran actor, no government has ever supported the Nigerian film industry a.k.a Nollywood like the present administration.
Speaking in a recent interview with CNN’s African Voices, Ramsey said: ‘I find it quite dicey, it’s a case of uncertainty, not knowing what is going to happen. However I’m actually endorsing the present government because Goodluck Jonathan has contributed immensely to the growth of our industry.
‘Call me selfish, call me what, but I’ve been in this industry for 25 years; no government ever spoke about my industry like this one. He gave us audience, he listened to us, he gave several grants to help the industry, he sent so many of the practitioners outside to big film schools … he’s giving money for distribution. So, for all these reasons we’re supporting him.’

Psquare's Peter Okoye Speaks On How Marriage Has Changed Him As A Person

Two years after he got married to his baby mama, Lola Omotayo, in November, 2013, one half of the music duo PSquare, Peter Okoye is poised to share his experience as a married man. 
In a recent interview with Vanguard, he opened up on issues like career, music, fame and how marriage has made him a responsible person. 

See excerpts from the interview after the cut....

Are you working on any project at the moment?

We just finished with recording our new album which is six months now. We are still working on the videos. One of them with the title “Collabo” and featuring Don Jazzy has already hit the market. We are also preparing for our tour of US and Europe.

What would you say marriage has done to you?

Marriage has made me to be more responsible, in the sense that there are certain things which I am limited to do as a married man. But I still remain who I am because marriage doesn’t restrict me from doing what I know how to do best on stage. In a nutshell, I will say marriage has changed me as Peter Okoye but not as Psquare.

Being accessible and friendly

In this industry, we are still learners and the truth is that people believe once they hit the top they are not answerable to anybody. But you might be surprised that the next level of our career might come from this interaction and that’s one thing most people don’t know. I always tell people when they ask how we have remained on top of our game for more than a decade. I tell them that I always pay special attention to people’s comments on every of our performances. What I do is whenever I am off-the-stage, I try to listen to different comments from the audience. some will commend our performance while many others will criticize it. That’s where we measure our strength as musicians, learn of our mistakes and correct them where need be.

You people are more of dancers than musicians?

I’m used to people saying I love Psquare because they know how to dance. But the fact is that I don’t like it when people refer to us as dancers. They can describe us as entertainers and musicians because it makes us more presentable. A fan once told me that Peter, I love you guys because of your kind of love songs. But the question is , when last did a love song sell or made a name in Nigeria, aside “Olufunmi” by Star Plus and probably, “Beautiful Onyiye” by Psquare.
These days people are used to the song they play in the club so even if you release a love song they won’t play it in the club because it belongs to a different genre. I’m happy we have fans who still believe in love songs and we are going to revive it.

The craziest thing you have ever done!

That was when we attended a night party some years ago. Some desperate girls were all over us and before we knew what was happening, they were kissing and romancing us openly. We had to run for our dear lives.

Most embarrassing moment

It was when we were coming up. Some of our kinsmen walked up to us and told us that it’s high time we join them in the village and stop roaming about the streets as if we are not conversant with the tradition of our people. We felt embarrassed. But unfortunately, we later adhered to their advice.

Full Text of President Jonathan’s Election Broadcast

Dear Compatriots,
As we prepare to go to the polls tomorrow, I have come before you this morning to express my immense appreciation for the opportunity you gave me to lead this great nation of ours in the past four years.
I also wish to place on record, once again, my sincere gratitude for the support you have given my administration without which the significant progress we have made in recent years would not have been possible.
In spite of the many challenges we have had to contend with since 1999, our present democratic dispensation continues to endure and grow stronger in keeping with the yearnings and aspirations of our people.
We have all worked very hard to nurture and strengthen our democratic institutions and promote the good governance practices which they were designed to deliver for the better well-being of our people.
I believe I can say without fear of contradiction that we all clearly cherish the democracy we now have and will never willingly give it up for any other form of governance.
This much-cherished democracy of ours is about to be put to the test once again.
I urge you all to troop out en-masse to peacefully perform your civic duty of voting for leaders of your choice tomorrow.
As we do so, let us all – political party leaders, contestants, party members, party agents, supporters and ordinary voters alike, be very conscious of the fact that the eyes of the entire world are on us.
We must therefore comport ourselves in a manner that will further strengthen our democracy and consolidate our place in the comity of truly democratic nations.
I made a commitment on assumption of office to progressively deliver freer, fairer and more credible elections in our country. In keeping with that commitment, the Federal Government has given the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) all necessary support to ensure that it conducts very successful elections tomorrow and on April 11.
We have all been assured that INEC is fully ready for the elections. I believe that we can all trust that they are certainly more ready now than they may have been before security issues and other concerns necessitated a re-scheduling of the dates for the 2015 general elections.
As an administration, we welcome the fact that millions of Nigerians who were yet to receive their Permanent Voters Cards (PVCs) as at February 14, and would therefore have been unfairly disenfranchised if the polls had gone ahead on that date, have seized the opportunity of the re-scheduling to collect their cards and can now exercise their right to vote tomorrow.
We are also glad that our gallant Armed Forces have successfully stemmed the seizure of Nigerian territories in the North-East by the terrorist group, Boko Haram.
They have recaptured most of the communities and territories formerly occupied by the insurgents, making it possible for thousands of internally-displaced Nigerians to begin returning to their homes and communities.
I heartily commend the very courageous men and women of our Armed Forces for the immense sacrifices which they continue to make in defending the nation and protecting its citizens.
I also thank all Nigerians for keeping faith with us over the past six weeks.
I call on all political parties and politicians in the country to allow the free, unfettered will of our people to be expressed without any hindrance in the coming elections in keeping with the hallowed principles and tenets of democratic governance which we all profess.
The will of the people freely expressed through the ballot is the bedrock of all democracies and ours cannot be an exception.
Let us all therefore be prepared, as true democrats, to graciously accept the outcome of the elections as the rightful choice of our people from whom all political powers in our democracy must emanate.
My administration has done its utmost best in the past four years to deliver on our promise to positively transform our country.
Tomorrow’s election is another very important milestone as we continue our march towards the fulfilment of our God-given potential for greatness.
The election offers us another opportunity to empower leaders of our choice once again, and to show the world that genuine democracy is alive and well in our beloved nation.
I will like to restate my belief that no political ambition can justify violence or the shedding of the blood of our people.
I reaffirm once again, my personal preparedness to ensure fair play during the elections and to deploy the resources and institutions of state only in the manner prescribed by our laws.
Let me warn, however, that as President, Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces, I am under oath to protect the lives of all Nigerians and the security of our country at all times. I will never abdicate my responsibilities in that regard.
Democracy allows dissent. It encourages differences and even fervent disagreements. But elections must never be mistaken for war or an opportunity to set fellow citizens against each other and tear our beloved nation apart.
Those who may harbor any intentions of testing our will by unleashing violence during the elections in order to advance their political ambitions should think again as all necessary measures have been put in place to ensure that any persons who breach the peace or cause public disorder during or after the elections are speedily apprehended and summarily dealt with according to our laws.
The nation’s security agencies are also fully prepared and ready to deal decisively with any group or persons who attempt to disrupt the peaceful conduct of the elections or cause any form of public disorder.
Our dear country, Nigeria is the largest democracy amongst black nations of the world. We are a nation of great accomplishments, with a proud history of evolving affinities.
Let us go out tomorrow to vote peacefully and set a fitting example of political maturity for other emerging democracies to follow.
I wish you all and our dear nation, very peaceful and successful elections.
May God Almighty continue to bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
I thank you all.

FG makes U-turn, re-opens sea borders

Minister of Interior, Mr. Abba Moro
The Federal Government has re-opened all the country’s sea borders barely a day after closing them down along with all land borders ahead of Saturday’s presidential election.
Minister of Interior, Abba Moro, who said this while inaugurating the new Koto- Karfe Medium Prisons, explained on Thursday that the government had received counsel that the action would affect the country’s economic activities at the seaports.
Moro however assured that officers and men of the Nigeria Immigration Service had been directed to effectively monitor movements in and out of the country’s sea borders before, during and after the elections.
The government had, in a statement on Wednesday, directed that all Nigeria’s land and sea borders be closed from midnight of Thursday till midnight of Saturday.